Rant on clocks

Clocks are quite the magnificent creatures aren't they? I mean they keep the one thing that we hold so dear yet barely ever give any credit to. They weave the fabric that our lives are woven onto and how we base the current activity we are undertaking. They come in many different shapes and sizes and can be of all kinds of designs. They lay the way for our day to take place. Now just think for a moment (of time) what if we had nothing to keep track of this idea we call time? Well this will be the first thing we tackle today

LIFE WITHOUT CLOCKS

Oh sounds so horrid I know alarms wouldn't be made the same. They would be all Flintstones style where the shade is pulled down most of the way exposing a very little amount of sun which shines into a magnifying glass which burns a string which releases a pebble to fall on your noggin. Well not only would string become coveted by all but days would be governed by the sun! We'd start saying things like oh its half past 33 degrees east. OK because everyone can instantly take out an astrolabe to measure where the sun is. For some reason there is just no will to even create the simplest of time dials. Well, it is life without clocks so I mean whoever tried to make something even resembling one would just spontaneously combust. That's just what happens in a world without clocks. period. Anyway after the alarm clocks...people in Alaska would be totally effed over I mean they cant use that kind of contraption when the sun only shows it self 6 months out of the year. People would turn into bears. it's like alright hibernation time see ya in half a year. Some people are freaks and time their days down to the very second. So this is again a down-side for people with OCD. However, I'm sure they'd get their angles perfect so they could possibly adapt. Clocks may not be so bad since we essentially can base our day off that big glowy ball in the sky anyway but something else could be in the brew like....


LIFE IF ONLY ONE PERSON HAD THE POWER TO STOP TIME

Now this is the ONE GREATEST super power of all time (te he time joke). No, but seriously think about it. Ok I'm a 17 year old. I'm under loads of stress all of the time. With the power to stop time will it'd essentially be gone. I could finish all my homework, do all my work for eagle scout, practice playing a sport, fall into to peer pressure and smoke and hate it btw (it wouldn't do anything to you anyway you are in stop time...everything takes TIME to take effect and if time doesn't effect you and you are operating outside of it then you can do anything you want...even gallons upon gallons of heroine...and be totally fine.), I could make world peace, I could make world war, give money to the poor, take it all for myself, or even jizz in the face of someone sitting at home with their dinner who is on the couch watching Seinfeld. It doesn't matter. You could even read every book on the earth and never age a day. Now with this power comes great responsibility (*yay* stolen lines *yay*) but honestly this will corrupt any one person eventually. This is the scary part. One person could go around and inject everyone in the world with AIDS and that'd just be no bueno except for that person and the single super model who doesn't have it and now they have to repopulate the world. The only person's downfall would be if you stop time while you are falling off a cliff you're still screwed because gravity is still in effect. You only operate outside time not the laws of physics idiot! By the way Clockstoppers didn't know what they hell they were doing . . .

BACK TO CLOCKS

Ahh...the beauty of a newly bought clock that just has that special place on your wall. It will become the center of your day. You will reference when to get your morning coffee, cream your morning bagel, do the morning exercise routine, and other morning things. Well you can throw other times in there to, but did you know we reference our lives to time 73% more in the morning than we do throughout the rest of the day?...If you said no then thats ok because I totally just made that up....Ahh here's a philosophical point do clocks control what we do or do we control what clocks do? think about that. Its my own version of "which came first the chicken or the egg?", but anyway clocks are a marvelous thing and aid us in the management of this thing called time. Clocks continue to influence our decisions because if we read 7am sure we may grab that coffee but if its 11pm you may just be saying, "now why the hell is this coffee in my hand, Imma be up all night if drink this crap!" I mean those are my exact words when I find coffee in my hand at 11pm. . .

Now the next time you look at clock and just think, That is one beautiful clock want a more fruitful relationship with it...and no don't be thinking dirty here. I'm just saying organizing your day more thoroughly is all :D