Summer, Winter, Autumn, Spring. Four names I could probably call my kids and get away with it. Well, being a chicagoan I must enjoy the seasonal change or else I'd probably find a nice high place to hang myself by now. This whole change of weather kind of makes things a bit interesting I mean and one point frozen water is falling from the sky and maybe not a week later mother nature is getting all hot and heavy...not literally of course. I mean the weather gets all warm and windy you sickos. Anyway the chaging seasons can get quite interesting around Chicago. We do get some of the craziest weather ever however we must press onward.
THE SEASONS AND YOU
Spring, everything starts to come back to life. The flowers look oh so pretty! Many different shades of green are sprouting up from everywhere and cute little bunnies are hopping across the grass. Yea definitely my least favorite season ever. It gets quite rainy and everyone knows that rain is just depressing. We all have experienced those grey spring days where we end up just sitting inside and rotting our cores by watching absolutely nothing on TV. I mean usually the best thing on TV end up being like, I don't know, MacGuyver. MacGuyver never even makes any sense with all his ingenuity. He can somehow put together a smoke bomb with leaves, sticks, paper, and a long ass piece of string. I think he has some super power but thats another story. The only really great thing about spring is that Summer follows in all its glory. Summer is quite the powerhouse giving way to all the fun activities like going to the beach, playing some sport at the park, picking up every single lady you see, because those are all strictly summer things. No other season may have those things ever! Anyway, summer is grand in all and Autumn can be quite nice if you live in Michigan which is why it gets its props over Spring, but Winter probably my favorite. Snow = Awesome. You can build so many different static structures out of it like for instance a snow fort and then have pizza delivery men deliver pizzas to it. This is true I have had that done, and the answer is yes the delivery man does get quite the look on his face when he delivers it to a snow fort. You know. . .now that I realize it I probably should changed this section to the Seasons and I because I'm not really relating this to you am I?
SEASONAL ITEMS
I find marketing one of the oddest things in the world, next to stoicheometry, but honestly it must suck to have to figure out a sales plan for an item one can only sell in a small window of time. Christmas trees for instance. A salesman has from about the end of November to the end of December to sell Christmas trees and that it. You have to haul all of those into your store and then back out because they can only be there for a month. Now a couple days ago I had to watch the Daily Show for AP Government and they came across a phenomenal thing that could essentially kill two birds with one stone. We can save the economy and use Christmas trees at potentially anytime during the year. The Solution's name? EMERGENCY CHRISTMAS. Brilliant. Simply Brilliant. It would kick up spending and many more people would need to buy their Christmas trees. Now there are many other examples of seasonal items but we don't have the time to sit here and just go through more than 1. . .hence x-mas trees. . .
Seasons. . .OUT
Oh Ryan Seacrest. What a tool you can be sometimes with your goofy leaving phrases. (Seacrest. . .Out for those of you who are not up to date on pop culture) So at this time we come to a close for today's blog. One thing I would like to leave with is that if you happen to live in the southern hemisphere you are probably experiencing summer right now and as much as I love winter, there just isn't enough snow and I somewhat envy that whole southern half of the globe over there. But I must be going. If you have any suggestions on what you'd like to hear me rant about I'd be more than happy to take emails at Titus409@yahoo.com
Thanks again
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Rant on clocks
Clocks are quite the magnificent creatures aren't they? I mean they keep the one thing that we hold so dear yet barely ever give any credit to. They weave the fabric that our lives are woven onto and how we base the current activity we are undertaking. They come in many different shapes and sizes and can be of all kinds of designs. They lay the way for our day to take place. Now just think for a moment (of time) what if we had nothing to keep track of this idea we call time? Well this will be the first thing we tackle today
LIFE WITHOUT CLOCKS
Oh sounds so horrid I know alarms wouldn't be made the same. They would be all Flintstones style where the shade is pulled down most of the way exposing a very little amount of sun which shines into a magnifying glass which burns a string which releases a pebble to fall on your noggin. Well not only would string become coveted by all but days would be governed by the sun! We'd start saying things like oh its half past 33 degrees east. OK because everyone can instantly take out an astrolabe to measure where the sun is. For some reason there is just no will to even create the simplest of time dials. Well, it is life without clocks so I mean whoever tried to make something even resembling one would just spontaneously combust. That's just what happens in a world without clocks. period. Anyway after the alarm clocks...people in Alaska would be totally effed over I mean they cant use that kind of contraption when the sun only shows it self 6 months out of the year. People would turn into bears. it's like alright hibernation time see ya in half a year. Some people are freaks and time their days down to the very second. So this is again a down-side for people with OCD. However, I'm sure they'd get their angles perfect so they could possibly adapt. Clocks may not be so bad since we essentially can base our day off that big glowy ball in the sky anyway but something else could be in the brew like....
LIFE IF ONLY ONE PERSON HAD THE POWER TO STOP TIME
Now this is the ONE GREATEST super power of all time (te he time joke). No, but seriously think about it. Ok I'm a 17 year old. I'm under loads of stress all of the time. With the power to stop time will it'd essentially be gone. I could finish all my homework, do all my work for eagle scout, practice playing a sport, fall into to peer pressure and smoke and hate it btw (it wouldn't do anything to you anyway you are in stop time...everything takes TIME to take effect and if time doesn't effect you and you are operating outside of it then you can do anything you want...even gallons upon gallons of heroine...and be totally fine.), I could make world peace, I could make world war, give money to the poor, take it all for myself, or even jizz in the face of someone sitting at home with their dinner who is on the couch watching Seinfeld. It doesn't matter. You could even read every book on the earth and never age a day. Now with this power comes great responsibility (*yay* stolen lines *yay*) but honestly this will corrupt any one person eventually. This is the scary part. One person could go around and inject everyone in the world with AIDS and that'd just be no bueno except for that person and the single super model who doesn't have it and now they have to repopulate the world. The only person's downfall would be if you stop time while you are falling off a cliff you're still screwed because gravity is still in effect. You only operate outside time not the laws of physics idiot! By the way Clockstoppers didn't know what they hell they were doing . . .
BACK TO CLOCKS
Ahh...the beauty of a newly bought clock that just has that special place on your wall. It will become the center of your day. You will reference when to get your morning coffee, cream your morning bagel, do the morning exercise routine, and other morning things. Well you can throw other times in there to, but did you know we reference our lives to time 73% more in the morning than we do throughout the rest of the day?...If you said no then thats ok because I totally just made that up....Ahh here's a philosophical point do clocks control what we do or do we control what clocks do? think about that. Its my own version of "which came first the chicken or the egg?", but anyway clocks are a marvelous thing and aid us in the management of this thing called time. Clocks continue to influence our decisions because if we read 7am sure we may grab that coffee but if its 11pm you may just be saying, "now why the hell is this coffee in my hand, Imma be up all night if drink this crap!" I mean those are my exact words when I find coffee in my hand at 11pm. . .
Now the next time you look at clock and just think, That is one beautiful clock want a more fruitful relationship with it...and no don't be thinking dirty here. I'm just saying organizing your day more thoroughly is all :D
LIFE WITHOUT CLOCKS
Oh sounds so horrid I know alarms wouldn't be made the same. They would be all Flintstones style where the shade is pulled down most of the way exposing a very little amount of sun which shines into a magnifying glass which burns a string which releases a pebble to fall on your noggin. Well not only would string become coveted by all but days would be governed by the sun! We'd start saying things like oh its half past 33 degrees east. OK because everyone can instantly take out an astrolabe to measure where the sun is. For some reason there is just no will to even create the simplest of time dials. Well, it is life without clocks so I mean whoever tried to make something even resembling one would just spontaneously combust. That's just what happens in a world without clocks. period. Anyway after the alarm clocks...people in Alaska would be totally effed over I mean they cant use that kind of contraption when the sun only shows it self 6 months out of the year. People would turn into bears. it's like alright hibernation time see ya in half a year. Some people are freaks and time their days down to the very second. So this is again a down-side for people with OCD. However, I'm sure they'd get their angles perfect so they could possibly adapt. Clocks may not be so bad since we essentially can base our day off that big glowy ball in the sky anyway but something else could be in the brew like....
LIFE IF ONLY ONE PERSON HAD THE POWER TO STOP TIME
Now this is the ONE GREATEST super power of all time (te he time joke). No, but seriously think about it. Ok I'm a 17 year old. I'm under loads of stress all of the time. With the power to stop time will it'd essentially be gone. I could finish all my homework, do all my work for eagle scout, practice playing a sport, fall into to peer pressure and smoke and hate it btw (it wouldn't do anything to you anyway you are in stop time...everything takes TIME to take effect and if time doesn't effect you and you are operating outside of it then you can do anything you want...even gallons upon gallons of heroine...and be totally fine.), I could make world peace, I could make world war, give money to the poor, take it all for myself, or even jizz in the face of someone sitting at home with their dinner who is on the couch watching Seinfeld. It doesn't matter. You could even read every book on the earth and never age a day. Now with this power comes great responsibility (*yay* stolen lines *yay*) but honestly this will corrupt any one person eventually. This is the scary part. One person could go around and inject everyone in the world with AIDS and that'd just be no bueno except for that person and the single super model who doesn't have it and now they have to repopulate the world. The only person's downfall would be if you stop time while you are falling off a cliff you're still screwed because gravity is still in effect. You only operate outside time not the laws of physics idiot! By the way Clockstoppers didn't know what they hell they were doing . . .
BACK TO CLOCKS
Ahh...the beauty of a newly bought clock that just has that special place on your wall. It will become the center of your day. You will reference when to get your morning coffee, cream your morning bagel, do the morning exercise routine, and other morning things. Well you can throw other times in there to, but did you know we reference our lives to time 73% more in the morning than we do throughout the rest of the day?...If you said no then thats ok because I totally just made that up....Ahh here's a philosophical point do clocks control what we do or do we control what clocks do? think about that. Its my own version of "which came first the chicken or the egg?", but anyway clocks are a marvelous thing and aid us in the management of this thing called time. Clocks continue to influence our decisions because if we read 7am sure we may grab that coffee but if its 11pm you may just be saying, "now why the hell is this coffee in my hand, Imma be up all night if drink this crap!" I mean those are my exact words when I find coffee in my hand at 11pm. . .
Now the next time you look at clock and just think, That is one beautiful clock want a more fruitful relationship with it...and no don't be thinking dirty here. I'm just saying organizing your day more thoroughly is all :D
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Today's Topic - That Guy
Everyone hates being that guy/girl in situations. I mean honestly when everyone lets say going to a movie and you are the only one who doesn't really want to and you ruin it for everyone you feel like a total jerk. We've all had these moments...well unless you're Jesus because he was perfect and all. But honestly how can we strive to make up for lost times we could have had? The answer is simple. Don't Be That Guy. Now this phrase may sound easy enough, but when you are under pressure in certain situations it may be hard to divert away. We can take care of this with the F.A.G. principle. If you follow the F.A.G. principle you will always be successful in not being That Guy; however, before we go through the FAG principle we must define what That Guy is.
That Guy : The person everyone loves to hate and never wants to become.
The Above is the most widely accepted definition at Urban Dictionary
F - Forget about others this is your decision. Don't be influenced by others' wants/needs. Maybe you should try to be a bit more daring in your life, but seriously If you have to be home at a certain time, there will always be an excuse on why you we're out so late. Better yet, there is always the lie for about 2 minutes then say that you are lying in order to seem more trustworthy. This is a proven method that has worked on many Teacher's and other Adults I have encountered. You give them a quick lie and gain their trust by saying "you know I have to be honest with you, I did fart in class and I'm very sorry if it disrupted the flow of learning. It really wasn't the African skin disease called bubblitis..." So Forgetting what others think and feel is the first step. Also if you happen to be a little more out there they may think you are bold and will potentially follow you as well.
A - Always blame someone else. This is huge. If you can get the attention off yourself for a situation that may call you "That Guy" then people will believe it is this other person causing the catastrophe and you are essentially off the hook. Averting attention will also give the people you're with to think that you are with them rather than trying to take the opposite side. Someone getting blamed for being that guy may seem like a cheap move but it can be very necessary when the situation calls for it. "Joe can you really not go with us on Saturday to the beach?" and Joe replies, "Well...If it weren't for that damn post office I would be able to go, but they always like to keep me working when everyone else isn't. I mean it's almost like they know exactly that I wanted to go to the beach so that damn post office gave me more hours....Damn..." This is a perfect response because it also gives a slight back story and can let the people feel more for you and accept your response more, especially if emotions are mixed in there.
G - Gesticulation. Your body language can be all the difference in how people perceive you as that guy. If you just say things and don't make your body care what you're saying it may seem a bit fishy. Ya gotta put on those big puppy eyes along with you're blaming and that's when the people end up having a total different perception of what should happen. They originally think alright this guy/girl is a tool and then turn to think wow he/she is being very sincere and really wish the thing can happen however they simply can't they obviously have a very believable back story that is not questionable at all and I don't think I should check it out at all. -- NEVER let on that those are not you're intentions you must keep said body language going the entire time you are with these people otherwise they will catch on and immediately think you are that guy/girl.
So, there you have it just Forget, Always Blame, and Gesticulate...FABG...I mean FAG. Well, anyway three easy steps to not becoming that guy. Now that we have defined who That Guy could be and ways to avoid being That Guy we must now realize that this can still happen to any of us. Just remember the FAG principle and you shall see that your amount of That Guy moments will severely decline and many people will love you all the more. This is a Titus original now signing off saying Take Care Everyone and I hope I dont see you being That Guy/Girl
That Guy : The person everyone loves to hate and never wants to become.
The Above is the most widely accepted definition at Urban Dictionary
F - Forget about others this is your decision. Don't be influenced by others' wants/needs. Maybe you should try to be a bit more daring in your life, but seriously If you have to be home at a certain time, there will always be an excuse on why you we're out so late. Better yet, there is always the lie for about 2 minutes then say that you are lying in order to seem more trustworthy. This is a proven method that has worked on many Teacher's and other Adults I have encountered. You give them a quick lie and gain their trust by saying "you know I have to be honest with you, I did fart in class and I'm very sorry if it disrupted the flow of learning. It really wasn't the African skin disease called bubblitis..." So Forgetting what others think and feel is the first step. Also if you happen to be a little more out there they may think you are bold and will potentially follow you as well.
A - Always blame someone else. This is huge. If you can get the attention off yourself for a situation that may call you "That Guy" then people will believe it is this other person causing the catastrophe and you are essentially off the hook. Averting attention will also give the people you're with to think that you are with them rather than trying to take the opposite side. Someone getting blamed for being that guy may seem like a cheap move but it can be very necessary when the situation calls for it. "Joe can you really not go with us on Saturday to the beach?" and Joe replies, "Well...If it weren't for that damn post office I would be able to go, but they always like to keep me working when everyone else isn't. I mean it's almost like they know exactly that I wanted to go to the beach so that damn post office gave me more hours....Damn..." This is a perfect response because it also gives a slight back story and can let the people feel more for you and accept your response more, especially if emotions are mixed in there.
G - Gesticulation. Your body language can be all the difference in how people perceive you as that guy. If you just say things and don't make your body care what you're saying it may seem a bit fishy. Ya gotta put on those big puppy eyes along with you're blaming and that's when the people end up having a total different perception of what should happen. They originally think alright this guy/girl is a tool and then turn to think wow he/she is being very sincere and really wish the thing can happen however they simply can't they obviously have a very believable back story that is not questionable at all and I don't think I should check it out at all. -- NEVER let on that those are not you're intentions you must keep said body language going the entire time you are with these people otherwise they will catch on and immediately think you are that guy/girl.
So, there you have it just Forget, Always Blame, and Gesticulate...FABG...I mean FAG. Well, anyway three easy steps to not becoming that guy. Now that we have defined who That Guy could be and ways to avoid being That Guy we must now realize that this can still happen to any of us. Just remember the FAG principle and you shall see that your amount of That Guy moments will severely decline and many people will love you all the more. This is a Titus original now signing off saying Take Care Everyone and I hope I dont see you being That Guy/Girl
Monday, February 23, 2009
A New Day!
Of Course, many people on this fine place called the internet have already started this whole blogging craze and I'm just hopping on the band-wagon. It seems like an interesting idea...giving everyone who can push their fingers to a keyboard the ability to talk about whatever they want. And even though my thoughts will most likely not be read or cared about I figured hey why not put my virtual self out there as well. You know its not everyday you see a 50 year-old homeless woman chasing you down the street with a sign that reads "The world will end today if you don't blog your heart out". Now most of the time I'm not one to give into these crazed people from under bridges, but maybe I took it as a sign, a sign to fulfill what I needed to get out. And maybe just something to do in my free time...alone...at home...while no one is around...to try and possibly evoke something out of someone. Possibly I'd like to get a chuckle or two as well and so today is the day I start my wonderous blogspot of blogspots.
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